So you desire to walk the path of a true Gentleman? then let your words be few, speak with your actions. Be confident in who you are and don’t try to impress people with many words. Often a person who speaks too much ends up saying things they can’t take back, a good practice is to make sure you hear the voice of the person you are speaking with more than your own.
Silence can be a virtue, even a fool can seem wise if he is silent, it is better to be a mystery than a confirmed fool. It is better to speak when you have something to say rather than to speak because you have to say something. A good listener is one who can learn from the person they are in conversation with, but if whilst a person is talking you are thinking about the next thing you are going to say, you are not talking with someone, you are talking at them.
There are benefits to not talking too much? one, you can avoid idle gossip, and stay out of unnecessary drama and trouble. Two, you do not run the risk of people becoming sick and tired from the sound of your voice. Three, there is less chance of saying something you later regret. and four, you can fit into the stereotype of the Strong Silent type, and this is always a good way to come across.
If you are constantly thinking of something to say to break the silence, this could be a sign you talk too much, does silence make you uncomfortable? Your instinct should differentiate between awkward silence and necessary silence. Obviously, if you are trying to get to know someone conversation is necessary but silence allows you to listen to the person you are getting to know. If your voice is the only voice you hear, your conversation partner is getting to know you more and you’re not learning about them.
If words are to be living and active, then these are the words neither spoken nor written, rather these are words of action. Speak by what you do, anyone can say “I Love You”, but putting someone’s needs before your own demonstrates those words more than the audible sound or the written text. Integrity is a great word but its actions are even greater.
If you speak less you will listen more, But also learn to listen with your eyes, and listen to a person’s actions. Often people are speaking to you by the things they do, and these are the messages that are most important, for if a person says one thing but does something contrary to their words, it is their action you must pay attention to.
If possible, think before you speak and aim not to speak from anger, don’t join in the conversations tearing apart another person’s reputation, and if possible don’t stand in judgment of people who do. Unless someone needs your help, mind your own business.
Someone once quoted the scripture ‘For the word of God is Living and Active, sharper than the double-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires’:- Hebrews 4:12. I asked them to use the bible and show a dog you love it. I will show that same dog I love it, with my actions and deeds, and who will the dog understand? Because your actions are your living activities, your actions expose your innermost thoughts and desires, I would much rather someone show me they love me by the things they do than just say the words, but then do nothing to help my cause.
I consider the people who talk too much around me to have flatulence coming out of their mouths. I ask myself, do I come across like this to others? and therefore make the effort to make sure mine is not the only voice I hear. But I am learning not to criticize, not to be judgemental, and to understand there are those who get great comfort from feeling heard and understood. So listening is a skill I am working on.
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