Romance & Relationships
The first and most important relationship to invest in is with you. Know and accept yourself. If you don’t understand yourself it will be difficult to know what you need. Know your values, your heart, and mind, know your likes and dislikes, know what to look for in the personality and character of your perfect partner, and be comfortable in your solitude, so comfortable that you would rather be alone than with the wrong person. This will narrow down who you invest time in romantically. To become romantic with many people can lead to confusion, heartache, and ultimately a broken spirit, such a path is not a Gentle path.
Know yourself, take a good long hard look at yourself and what you bring to a relationship. Do you bring security, stability, protection, love, honor, respect, encouragement, appreciation, gratitude, laughter, hospitality, selflessness, passion, and honesty? or are you just bringing your needs to be filled?
Women are not conquests, rather they are the foundation upon which a man builds his Kingdom. A boy is fascinated with sensual pleasures, his attraction to women is based on his addiction to the reproductive feelings and chemicals released in his brain from orgasms. A gentleman seeks his Soulmate, the rest of his heart and mind, an extension of himself, for her he will work, fight for and die for. Her needs are more important to himself than his own, in fact, her needs are his deepest innermost needs. That is why it is imperative to be with the right woman and not just any woman. You cannot apply Romance in the wrong relationship, it will burn you and leave you depleted, whereas in the right relationship romance energizes and strengthens your core being.
Love is a language of itself spoken through actions, what destroys a relationship is “being controlling, manipulative, possessive, deceitful, and any such selfishness”, If you find these tendencies in your mentality then mature, grow up, it’s not possible to walk the Gentle path and possess such toxic traits.
If you’re trying to change the personality of who you’re with or they’re trying to change you into someone else, you are with the wrong person, unless that change concerns healing and is welcomed and desired mutually. Self-acceptance is so important in personal development, so if someone cannot accept you as you are, find the strength to walk away unless you are married with kids.
But we can be impatient, wanting to be in a relationship NOW, crossing all the lines without taking the time to get to know who we are crossing those lines with. Only getting to know people as you cross each line. This is why the divorce rate in the western world is so high, we marry people without knowing who they really are, I too am guilty of this, and the words in this post are seasoned with my bias based on my emotional scars, inner turmoil, broken heart, and bruised ego. I look back and ask myself why I made the choices I did when I was a young man, then realize I have so much in common with many men.
Romance works if you can love with all your heart, might, soul and strength, knowing you are loved the same. Blessed are the children born into such love.
Romance fails if needs go unmet, and grumbling and complaints are all there is, if you cannot please a person after many attempts, you owe it to yourself to stop and set yourself free.
I found my Soulmate at 19, unfortunately, I was too young and immature to understand the significance of being with a woman that could read my mind, finish my sentences, have a conversation in a crowded room without words, just slight facial expressions and eye movements and we could tell each other all we need to know. I was asked to choose between her and God. If only I knew I would never find anyone like her ever again. Over the last 30 years, I have searched for another Soul mate, I have met some amazing and incredible women, but only one was the rest of my soul and spirit.
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